Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A strange time ...

The party's over. At least for me. Might seem strange to hear but can't really help it. On the threshold of entering my fifth year of college I suddenly feel lost. And I mean lost. Not since my first year have I felt anything even remotely close to this. Difficult to place the feeling, ummm really difficult. Its like a weird cross between happiness and sorrow. Ahh! That's it ! Weird. The word that is, perhaps, best suited to describe it, given the circumstances. And yet whatever be the obscure nature of it, its gross result is not. Because it makes me want to go down in a heap and burst into tears. Funny how the human mind works. At times of incredible happiness the best thing it can conjure up are a few measly tears that blur the vision, trickle down the cheeks leaving tell-tale streaks and sometimes even drip down your chin and soil your best sunday attire. That same strange companion of the human race in times of pain is found all the same in places it is least expected to. This particular occasion, though, is not one of those tearful, mushy Hollywood-style movie endings where one is "overwhelmed" by happiness, or by the unbearable nature of it. This situation could not have been more different. And yet, come to think of it, not really different. Its rather like one of those situations where someone is about to lose a lot of very close friends - people with whom he has eaten and slept and spent every minute of every day for all of four long years - people whom one holds closer than anyone in the whole wide world - and all of a sudden, all gone. Or at least from his immediate vicinity, out of earshot. Because that was how close they all were - within shouting distance. But not any more. Everyone will go their own way, which in a few cases will not be all different, and this place will be rendered empty - of friends, of fun, of life.

May sound like a lot of melodrama to you - in fact had this been written in ink on paper you might have even spied a few tell-tale drops smudging the ink. But whatever heights the blogger might have reached it still remains a text document. Can't really "code" human emotions into the format of it, right ?

At least not yet.