Serendipity

Rendezvous

2009-04-11T10:02:00.009+05:30

She stood there alone like a proud, unwavering reed refusing to bow down to the swirling winds of change. Her lush brown hair framed a face angelic in its austere beauty. A gentle breeze wafted by as the blood red sun prepared to bid farewell to a balmy evening. She leant her frame against the wall, as if for a moment faltering under a great burden. Her eyes closed and her face bent forward as she fell into a stupor. The rumble of the incoming train broke the spell, however, and she heaved a forlorn sigh at being greeted back on earth.

It wasn't her train. The mass of living, breathing humanity snaked its way out and thundered past. The oppressively vulgar intrusion disgusted her as always and she found herself turning away, face knotted in disapproval. The dust flew up in its wake, almost choking her with acrid surprise. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at her watch. Her train was late. She looked up and saw him.

He walked with a slight swagger. He had seemed in an awful hurry as he ran up the stairs but the sight of an empty platform seemed to come as a pleasant surprise as he puffed out his cheeks and smiled at his good fortune. His face had a curious familiar quality that surprised her and she looked away. When she looked back, he was looking at her. His expression was neutral, almost excessively so, an inscrutable mask she found hard to penetrate. She looked away quickly and tried to go back to thinking what she had been thinking. Her mind, however, had gone blank, and she found herself turning back in his direction.

He was leaning against the railing, looking down. He sighed almost imperceptibly, and for a fleeting second looked years older. He shook his head and muttered something to himself before flicking a glance at her. She looked away again, this time determined not to return the gaze. Something was happening between the two strangers, intangible, ephemeral and strangely sad. She looked back involuntarily and for the second time their gaze locked. A hint of a smile on his lips seemed to melt her heart and she felt like dropping all inhibitions at her feet and bounding into his arms. But the roar of the train, and gushing humanity interrupted her yet again and this time when the dust had lifted, he was no longer there.

Fall

2008-09-27T15:11:00.001+05:30

The winding road to nowhere - promising so much, and delivering so little. I keep walking. On and on. I knew not where.

The light begins to fade. The birds return home to adoring children, chirping their approval of a day's work well done. And soon all is quiet. The forest sleeps oblivious to a lonely soul.

The road keeps going. Shadows lengthen. The path is cobbled by a million fragments of light and shade. The breeze picks up, carrying with it a thousand dead leaves that speak in a mute whisper. But I'm only human and cannot understand the strange tongue.

A light in the distance fills me with a sudden elation. There lay my destination! I start running towards it, not caring which way I took. Serpentine trails that become ever fainter, lead me deeper and deeper into the forest. The light grows brighter, but I'm no closer to its source.

The ground changes character, becoming more and more rocky. The slope becomes steeper too, making it harder for me to continue. But they were petty obstacles in the face of my determination, and I press on.

I was almost there, almost at the summit of the climb. My destination could not be far. The light was so much brighter now, I could almost touch it.

Whoosh!

All of a sudden, the ground gives way beneath my feet. In a split second the world turns upside down and I find myself hanging on for dear life.

The valley was a gaping chasm waiting to swallow me whole. And no one could save me.

A Vision

2008-08-14T08:31:00.006+05:30

The road dwindled along. The light was fading fast. Soon there would be nothing more than a few smouldering streaks in the lap of the evening clouds. I quickened my step, trying to bridge the gap to my home, before the forest engulfed me.

My mind wandered. There was someone walking alongside me. Someone I knew so well. We walked together in silence - not the awkward, brittle silence that exists between strangers in an elevator, but warm, comfortable silence, like that between familiar souls.

She turned towards me and smiled. I was struck as always by the happiness she exuded from every corner of her face. Her eyes danced in glee and her lips curled in an impish grin. Seized by an impulse, I pulled her towards myself, and kissed her. A warm glow seemed to suffuse my entire being and for a second I felt free. Free of all the cares in the world, free of all the chains that weighed me down a moment ago. I had found her. And wasn't it about time?

I walked on but this time with a spring in my step. I had found my muse. But wait, there was no one beside me - an apparition had appeared and stolen my heart, but had vanished momentarily, snuffing out the straggling flame of hope in its infancy. I was deflated, forlorn - a bitter disappointment replacing the euphoria. But the vision was strong as ever.

Who was she?

Stopping by woods on a snowy evening

2008-07-02T04:00:00.016+05:30

There was not a soul to be seen. A soft rustle was the sheer backdrop of a chilly evening. The light shone golden from the street lamps - the backwash, eerie and yet so beautiful. The pitch-black sky was tinged with violet at the rims, a gentle reminder of storms in the distance. Nature had rolled out her white carpet for mortals on earth. And I stood there watching and marvelling, as time stood still.

The sidewalks were treacherous - black, invisible ice ever threatening to pull out the carpet from underneath. The cars had gone missing, or perhaps immobilized by nature's soft rebuke. The air was crisp - the smell of moist earth trickling in, awakening the senses like no other. The chill had almost disappeared, leaving sweat underneath layers of winter clothing.

And there she was, stepping daintily out of the thicket, stopping midway across the street, and turning her full brown eyes upon me. I stared transfixed, unable to move lest I frighten her away. Light glinted off her dark skin and stray flakes were brushed off with a cursory shrug. She was a sight to behold!

The crisscrossing shadows were playing tricks with my eyes and suddenly I had become the primeval hunter and she, my game. In a game of cat-and-mouse, I had emerged victorious. But one look had gone straight to the heart, melting the wall of ice, and I couldn't bring myself to ring the death-knell for such a wonder. So I gazed on and on, willing the moment to last forever.

Crack!

The hitherto frozen trees trembled and creaked under the weight of fallen snow. Birds awakened from peaceful slumber voiced their raucous protest. The woods had come to sudden life and shook me from my reverie, as nature welcomed me back in her midst.

But the spell had broken. She slipped away quietly from whence she came, and I walked on alone in silence.

Subconscious

2008-05-10T22:36:00.008+05:30

A faint ringing floated in from afar. I followed the sound to its source. It was the telephone.

First light hadn't broken yet. Weird hour to be calling someone I thought. I picked up.

But the phone went on ringing, and it kept getting louder. I tried to turn it off but it wouldn't. I was about to scream in frustration when I got a nudge from behind and almost on cue, blissful silence! But wait. It wasn't a phone in my hand. It was the alarm clock and my senses still swimming, I sat up in bed to another day of my mundane existence.

It was almost psychedelic - the way things floated into one another, forming a myriad of fantastic shapes. Like someone had spilled paint on an empty canvas. Light played strange tricks as it trickled into sight, waxing and waning to an unreal pulse. There was a voice in the back of my mind telling me to be up and about. But caught up in this phantasm, somewhere between reality and imagination, it loses conviction and sings along to an unheard tune, a silent symphony.

I'm back home, relaxing on the sofa, reading a novel. It was one of those thrillers, the kind that grips your attention in a wrestler's hold, and refuses to let go until you've devoured the last page. The ceiling fan was turning, but the heat refused to go away. Sweat trickles down my nose, and my arms, and my thighs, and drips off the tips of my hair. But it doesn't affect me in the least - I'm used to it. The Indian summer.

The trees outside seem paralyzed. Not a blade of grass stirs. It seems the entire city is having her siesta. Busy intersections are quiet, raucous corners empty, even the policeman dozes in a shady corner. I remember how I loved these moments of suspended animation as a child. While the city slept, the young mind would embark on adventures filled with pirates and ghosts and treasure. A mere four walls were not enough to restrict the boundless freedoms of thought.

My mind grows wistful, ever fonder of times past, and I can't resist. The train of long-forgotten thought chugs by, offering a fleeting glimpse of bitter-sweet memories. It stops in a cloud of smoke, and I get on ...

A faint ringing floats in from afar. I follow the sound to its source. It was the telephone ...

Metamorphosis

2008-01-26T19:00:00.000+05:30

The phone rings. I look at it and find the words "Mom calling ..." or Dad calling ..." blinking up at me through the infuriating din of the ringtone. A sudden mood swing and I find my hitherto cheerful demeanour being drained away suddenly to be replaced by something almost alien in its coolness - a shroud of impassivity engulfs me and I find a strange, mechanical voice, that I struggle to recognise as my own, answering the call. Conversation continues perfunctorily. Monosyllabic replies from my side do nothing to help matters, until a hurt, exasperated silence falls. I just can't think of what to say! Unable to fathom my apparent reticence my parents hang up and I do too, immediately aware that something had transpired that I could not quite explain.

It was not always so bad. When I went to college as a shy, nervous freshman, I had suffered the same pangs of home-sickness that I had only heard about till then. I used to wait on a call from my family and try and choke back tears when it did actually come. I was not alone in my weakness. Sudden shakiness in the voice coming through would tell me what words couldn't. Distance brings people closer they say, and so it did. At least for a while.

Things then got busier in college. I found myself caught up in the flow and propelled along, unable to resist. Those heartaches faded away into oblivion and soon I was a new man - revelling in the new-found-freedom of hostel life. Family ceased to become a first priority and those visits home became increasingly sparse. And I was beginning to doubt the truth of that old saying.

The tenuous thread of human relationships hangs on words and actions. One wrong word , one missed action can cause irreparable damage. Indeed these changes of mood often caught me unawares and after the phone call had ended I would be left with a bitter taste in my mouth. Something was definitely wrong, but I was unable to put my finger on the cause.

Perhaps it was the closed atmosphere in college. A certain claustrophobia acting at the subconscious level, making one want to break out with violence. An uncontrollable anger that leaps out of a dark corner like a malevolent Mr. Hyde, ambushing conversation and making life hell afterwards.

Or maybe I'm just a psychopath in the making.

So long, farewell ...

2007-12-14T23:46:00.000+05:30

Waxing and waning of emotions has always been very typical of me. Its probably something I got from my mom - the most loving, sensitive and selfless person I have ever known. She is prone to the odd outburst of tenderness and overwhelming melancholy that seems to have taken a hold of me of late. But that's what makes her human. You love people for their idiosyncrasies, and this is just one of them.

I remember going through a similar time a couple of years back. I was away from home for a while and met some people I could never forget. But it was only a short vigil, and that made the farewell more heart wrenching. A feeling that there was so much left undone - a sudden realization that I might never see them again - these beautiful, caring, loving people with whom I spent a few important months of my life; who made time fly past with bursts of infectious, endearing madness; who lent a patient ear to anything you might have to say; and who came to say goodbye and left you watching through a blur as they faded away into the distance.

They say that life moves on. After the first few days of heartache, the recuperative powers of the mind finds ways to get around it. But does it really ? A stray snippet of conversation, a familiar corridor, a long-forgotten tune, can all reawaken a precious memory stowed away in the dark closets of the mind and bring it rushing back into focus.

Sometimes I am terrified by the prospect of coming face-to-face with someone I knew and turning away without a flicker of recognition. But some part of me says that it will surely not be someone who really mattered to me. Even if it was for only a few months.

Return of the prodigal

2007-11-05T04:57:00.000+05:30

After a couple of months of 'abstinence' I was welcomed back into the domain of cyberspace by my new laptop. This arrival was closely followed by the arrival of the first music gear that I can call my own. So the hours would now pass more easily. But then is that the best thing that could have happened ? If that surprised you, perhaps the following stats will make things a little clearer.

The highlights of my IIT life were two things of seemingly contrasting attributes: my computer and my music. Without either, I would not have had half as much fun or 'accomplished' anything of note. If the computer was an extension of my college life, helping me stay in touch with my academic side (however little that might have been !), my music was definitely my release, my way of putting frustrations aside - an invaluable stress-buster when the going got tough. Hence in the absence of either, there would be a sizeable hole in my daily routine as you can well imagine. A void that would be hard to fill, if at all. In Kharagpur (that was my college) it was hard to imagine that life without these two things were at all possible. Imagine my consternation when I was faced with the daunting prospect of confronting a new people, a new culture, a new university, essentially a new life, without the comforting presence of my old friends.

That was two months ago. I would work at my desk in the university, chat with my parents and friends, but when I came home at night there was this huge void staring back at me - an emptiness that I find hard to put into words. For the first few days I would just walk about aimlessly from room to room trying to pass the time somehow. I would bring back papers to read, but would soon be lulled into sleep by the sheer monotony. That was when I remembered another 'old friend' that I had quite forgotten about.

You see, in college, there would always be too much to do. If I was not playing football or fiddling around with a guitar, I would just spend hours lazing around on my computer. Caught up in this hugely demanding schedule, I had almost forgotten what it was like to pick up a book and be transported to another time, another place where time seemed to fly past in a blur. But all that was about to change.

In the depths of my despair, my gaze fell upon a book that I had brought with me, perhaps for just such an eventuality. It was a novel by Amitav Ghosh called 'The Hungry Tide'. The next thing I knew, I was 100 pages into it and loving every bit. The voracious reader in me had been awakened, and how! In the next few weeks I had gobbled up titles as diverse as 'My name is Red', 'Confessions of an Economic Hitman', Kafka's 'The Trial' and started on 'A People's History of the United States'.

And just when I thought I had rediscovered the artistic side of me, Dell came knocking at the door and ruined it all. Talk about timing !!

A Point to Ponder

2007-09-22T07:50:00.000+05:30

Its good to be back. But then it could have been at a better time. Coz right now I'm a little depressed. Don't ask me why. I just am.

One month in the U.S. of A. and what do I have to show for it ? Well not much really. Made a few friends, a couple of really good ones, but not of the sort that I would have preferred. If you know me, you would probably know exactly what I mean. There is so much beauty in this world. Makes me wanna cry...

If you think I am not making any sense then you should probably stop reading right now, because you would be missing the whole point of this exercise. But then you are probably not to blame. It's just me I guess. To tell you the truth, spending 12 years in a boys' school, and five years in a boys' only college (no offense meant !!) would take its toll on any sane human being. With the most likely result that he ceases being what he started out as (let's see if you can work that one out). If you come to this conclusion about me, I daresay you would be very close to the truth.

Its funny how the human response to entirely different phenomena can be so strikingly similar. Take sleep for example. The most natural and arguably the most addictive way to pass one's time. Go too long without it, and your mind starts losing its ability to reason. You begin to hallucinate, the edges of the world begin to blur. Slowly but surely, you go stark, raving mad. Through long and tortuous years of self-denial, I am now of the opinion that the same is true of female companionship. Which now strengthens my belief that I am insane. Not a word issuing out of my mouth, should be taken to mean what it seems. Obviously this very fact should make even my last statement quite suspect.

And yet again the sheer unpredictability of the human mind comes to my rescue. When your morale is at its lowest, when you think that you can't possibly feel any worse, out springs a thought from a remote corner of your mind and changes your whole mood. Maybe that's just me being my moody self - something that I am at pains to conceal from public view - but then it might just be the immutable truth, for all you know. In this case I thought about the hilarious posts I had read a while back. If you are a bong in distress (physical or mental) just take a time-out and read these ('The Bong' and 'Hottie Hottie, Bong Bong !' ). You'll know what I mean.

And so with my mind suitably freshened, I return to the more mundane activities of my life, leaving you to ponder this post. Did I really mean all that, I wonder ?

Didu

2007-01-21T19:39:00.000+05:30

She reclines on the sofa, a myriad of thoughts coursing through her mind. Innumerable worries wrinkle her brow. Foremost among them, however, are her grandsons - the two souls she loves with all her heart and soul, and both of whom are away at the present, much to her anguish. She sits with the telephone at her side. Her hearing is failing her and she is afraid lest a phone call goes unanswered. The light on the phone flashes, and shaken out of her stupor she answers the phone.

'Hello!! Who is it ?'
'Hi Didu! How are you?'

It was her grandson! A sudden flash of life lights up her face, and joy crinkles her eyes into little half-moons ensconced in a sea of crows feet. In the conversation that ensues, if one could call it that, you could hear her hanging on every word coming out of the receiver. She tries to make sure nothing escapes her faded hearing, but even if something does, her grandson patiently, lovingly repeats his words, for he enjoys it quite as much as she does. And then after a while, it is time. Loath to put the phone down, they say their goodbyes, struggling to keep the emotion out of their voices.

The day had taken on a new coat of life. She stood up and went about some of the house-hold chores with a new spring in her step. Her knees, usually the cause of so much pain, seem to bother her less and the usual cloud of melancholy had lifted. For was this not what she hoped for everyday of her mundane existence ? Was this not what would help her through a few more days of boredom and anxiety ? She knew it would, and satisfied in this knowledge, she smiled wistfully at no-one in particular.

She had never been able to reconcile herself to the fact that her grandsons had to leave their home to go to college. She would always be amazed at what she construed as a mistake on the part of her daughter - to let her sons go. She was afraid that once out of sight, it would only be a matter of time before they were forgotten altogether. Her vulnerability would drive her to tears that she would keep to herself, too proud to show her anguish. Four years had passed before she began to realise that her fears were, perhaps, unfounded. Although she could not communicate with her grandsons as often as she would like, the occasional phone call would assuage her fears. Her grandsons had not forgotten her, and she thanked God for that.

She comes to the end of her chores, and tired out by the effort she sits down in the balcony of her flat to catch her breath, and enjoy the sunshine on a slightly chilly afternoon. She enjoys the refreshing warmth on her face, and is soon drifting off to sleep, dreaming of the days gone by ...

Nostalgia

2007-01-16T01:04:00.000+05:30

The strains of music float through the air as I wonder where the past four-and-a-half years have gone. It seems only yesterday that I had taken my first unsure steps down Scholars' Avenue awed by the presence that was the Indian Institute of Technology. And now, a million new friendships and innumerable memorable moments later, here I am on the threshold of graduation. Reminds me of the old song I was taught in school:

Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing,
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago ...

A few more months and we will all be going our separate ways. A new beginning, a new world, and hopefully new friends, in lives forever altered. There are days when I look upon this positively, with enthusiasm and energy, as around the next corner lies challenges and thrills that, so far, we have only had occasional glimpses of. And yet there are invariably times when I experience a certain tightness in the chest - an inexplicable heartache. I find myself wishing that perhaps by some miracle we could start over - that perhaps even a few of the fleeting moments of happiness came to life again, drenching us anew with sheer heady excitement. Crushing, cruel reason barges in just then and slams the door of my imagination, bringing an abrupt end to my reverie, leaving nothing but a dull sadness in its wake.

The lines of a well-known song comes to mind just then ....

I was sitting on the edge of the bed,
Staring at the headlines on the paper,
It said 'Looking for Gene Kelly',
I guess he won't be singing in the rain,
You can take away all my heroes,
Can't you take away my pain ?

Can anyone ?

An unfamiliar role ...

2006-10-14T16:46:00.000+05:30

i am no film critic ... somehow my motto has always been to watch a movie in order to enjoy it ... and leave the dissection bit to others more favourably inclined towards it ... and perhaps more 'qualified' to do it too ... but somehow this time i couldn't resist the urge ...

Aparna Sen, in her directorial career, has managed to carve out quite a niche for herself (and in the process for her daughter Konkona too, not taking anything away from her as an actress) ... her forte would appear to be thought-provoking cinema that address contemporary issues and also provide sensitive insights into relationships between the characters of her story ... "Mr. And Mrs. Iyer" and "Unishe April" being cases in point ... i had similar expectations from her latest (or perhaps not-so-latest) venture - "15 Park Avenue" ... and she did not disappoint ...

the story concerns a family of three contrasting women - Anjali, the divorced elder daughter, played by Shabana Azmi ... her Schizophrenic younger sister, Mithali, played by Konkona, and their widowed mother, Mrs. Mathur, played by Waheeda Rahman ... the dynamics of the family are quite complex ... Mithali's mental condition is cause for much anguish in the family and they are forced to resort to a specialist's treatment who suggests a holiday away from the city as a possible, if only temporary solution ... on their trip away to Bhutan, they cross paths with Mithali's ex-fiancee Jojo, played by Rahul Bose ... interestingly enough, Mithali, as a consequence of her affliction, lives in a wholly different world - one in which Jojo is her husband, and she, a mother of five ... Jojo, who is now married, with 2 kids, and who had left Mithali in her hour of need, feels in part responsible for her condition and decides to help her ... his decision is met with indignation by his wife, who feels she is somehow losing him to his Schizophrenic ex-fiancee ... Jojo has made his decision however, and takes Mithali to find the house where she 'lives' - at 15 Park Avenue ... and she does ...

the film was quite watchable and featured great performances from all and sundry ... Shabana Azmi fitted the role of a scholar and single-minded woman like a glove ... Konkona Sen Sharma was quite amazing in her portrayal of the mentally unstable Mithali ... and Waheeda Rahman was completely believable in a touching portrayal of the anguished mother watching her daughter suffer ... personally though i felt that the ending of the movie was a bit of a let-down ... and perhaps several alternatives, different from the run-of-the-mill 'lived happily ever after', did exist ... but then that's the director's perspective ...

for further details you better go watch the movie ...

Crash

2006-06-27T18:29:00.000+05:30

A strange beeping sound ensued out of my near vicinity. I looked around in consternation, fully expecting a horde of aliens clad in costumes that would put Star Trek to shame, to jump out and paralyse me with one zort! from their evil-looking ray guns. The very thought of lying helpless under their glassy eyes, a mere guinea-pig for some diabolical experiment, had my hair standing on end. I looked around frantically, my eyes straining to detect some movement that would give away my impending attackers. No alien spaceship was in sight, however, rendering my paranoia quite unfounded. The beeping sound still persisted though, and I now realised that it was coming from somewhere real close. In fact, I could almost touch it by reaching out. And reach out I did, and the next thing I know, this thing was in my hand - this alive, jumping, beeping thing !! All of a sudden I didn't want anything to do with it and summoning up all my strength I hurled this thing as far as I possibly could.

CRASH !!

Blinding light engulfs me. I rub my eyes trying to coax things back into focus. And there I was sitting in the middle of my bed, with the shattered remains of what used to be my alarm clock littered all around me.

Too much of Futurama I guess.

A strange time ...

2006-04-11T13:00:00.000+05:30

The party's over. At least for me. Might seem strange to hear but can't really help it. On the threshold of entering my fifth year of college I suddenly feel lost. And I mean lost. Not since my first year have I felt anything even remotely close to this. Difficult to place the feeling, ummm really difficult. Its like a weird cross between happiness and sorrow. Ahh! That's it ! Weird. The word that is, perhaps, best suited to describe it, given the circumstances. And yet whatever be the obscure nature of it, its gross result is not. Because it makes me want to go down in a heap and burst into tears. Funny how the human mind works. At times of incredible happiness the best thing it can conjure up are a few measly tears that blur the vision, trickle down the cheeks leaving tell-tale streaks and sometimes even drip down your chin and soil your best sunday attire. That same strange companion of the human race in times of pain is found all the same in places it is least expected to. This particular occasion, though, is not one of those tearful, mushy Hollywood-style movie endings where one is "overwhelmed" by happiness, or by the unbearable nature of it. This situation could not have been more different. And yet, come to think of it, not really different. Its rather like one of those situations where someone is about to lose a lot of very close friends - people with whom he has eaten and slept and spent every minute of every day for all of four long years - people whom one holds closer than anyone in the whole wide world - and all of a sudden, all gone. Or at least from his immediate vicinity, out of earshot. Because that was how close they all were - within shouting distance. But not any more. Everyone will go their own way, which in a few cases will not be all different, and this place will be rendered empty - of friends, of fun, of life.

May sound like a lot of melodrama to you - in fact had this been written in ink on paper you might have even spied a few tell-tale drops smudging the ink. But whatever heights the blogger might have reached it still remains a text document. Can't really "code" human emotions into the format of it, right ?

At least not yet.

Almost ... but not quite ...

2006-03-07T14:03:00.000+05:30

A famous construction used brilliantly by the inimitable Douglas Adams in his historic novel series called "The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy". And in a context that is as much a far cry from his work as were some of his hilarious portrayals of alien civilizations, it pretty much sums up our experience of an event just concluded. An event that is much-vaunted in that it is supposed to crown the best western "group" in the campus. The prospect is a mouth-watering one for most college students as western music, or more specifically, ROCK music, has been the age-old way of breaking the rules, of creating new standards of musical perception. It is something the young generation can identify immensely with, and especially so in a totalitarian professor-dominated society like IIT Kharagpur. Here for a brief time, we get to throw caution to the wind and revel in the sheer, raw power of heavy metal even within the auspices of the Students' Gymkhana. A breath of fresh air it is supposed to be, but therein lies the fallacy. It is judged by - yeah you guessed it - a professor. What we get as a result is not something that should come as a surprise. A Hitler incarnate, to judge a mutinous show of boldness from the students. A veritable fossil to pass judgement on something that is quite clearly out of his time. The results are for all to see ...

While these events should serve as points of encouragement for young budding musicians, they instead kill off the last dregs of originality and creative spirit that may have been left after years of oppression. The few of us that have dared to dream, almost invariably end up on the losing side.

A season of plenty ...

2006-01-27T01:22:00.000+05:30

The season of plenty is around the corner. As winter draws to a close, we see the world around us take on a different and strikingly refreshing hue. The green of the trees, the gold of the sun and the general pleasantness of the weather is something we all look forward to after the cold. However, the title of my post has nothing at all to do with impending spring. Surprised ?? Well let me explain. I am talking about the sudden change of heart that the institute has undergone as a result of which we find the Gymkhana getting access to an unprecedented flow of funds. The same authorities that had stubbornly refused to approve plans for a new Gymkhana building for several years citing reasons that were quite unacceptable to all-and-sundry have suddenly made a volte-face that has taken us all totally by surprise.

The reasons for doing so are quite obvious at first sight. One the one hand, the Inter-IIT sports contingent has done us all proud by winning the prestigious Inter-IIT General Championship, something that had eluded us since 2001-02. The response to that from the Institute side was the sanctioning of funds for the Gymkhana building. No mention had been made of the Social and Cultural side of things so far even though IIT Kharagpur is, probably, the only IIT to boast of soc-n-cult activities of any significance. But then such is the "subjective" nature of these events that any kind of grant would have to be supported by a tangible acheivement - something perhaps like the Inter-IIT soc-n-cult which would enable us to show our mettle on a greater stage. But then, the possibility of such an event occurring in the near future are bleak, if not non-existent. So, we poor souls who are more active on the soc-n-cult side of affairs cut a sorry figure and had all but given up hope of ever receiving the kind of monetary support that sports activites always seems to enjoy. As it turned out, all was not lost.

The proverbial spark was, perhaps, provided by the Spring Fest 2006 which sprang a few surprises, and provided some fantastic entertainment through the hugely-successful star nights and the unprecedented scenes that were witnessed in the Hasya Kavi Sammelan. This shook the powers-that-be out of their perpetual stupor and set the wheels in motion to make life a little easier for the soc-n-cult junta of IIT Kharagpur. Hence, we can finally see the Gymkhana being able to purchase equipment that would make a difference. For those of us who have been around for a while this would be a welcome change, although perhaps a little too late at least for the batch of 2006. But then, they say, its better late than never ...

Gutted ....

2006-01-22T05:10:00.000+05:30

Feeling down ... really down ...

Our shot at "Wildfire" glory was turned into a farce today as everything imaginable went wrong. Its almost as if we are jinxed, as for the umpteenth time we were thwarted at possibly the last moment and left ruing our luck and wondering over what might have been.

It has just been that kind of week for us. First we had one of our band members backing out at what was perhaps the last possible moment. If that had made things difficult for us, we refused to show it and went ahead with our preparations with renewed vigour, confident that our hard work would surely pay off. And sure enough, things were looking up for us. Or so we thought.

Our songlist was ready and we were smoothening out the little wrinkles that were still apparent in our setup. The practice sessions were looking better and better and we had all the cause for cheer. The most difficult of songs that we were about to attempt was slowly but surely coming together and consequently spirits were soaring. And then calamity struck.

The morning of our show. Things are all going according to plan - we finish a cycle of our songs and it sounds good. We then receive a call telling us to assemble immediately in the open-air auditorium as we were to be the next band on stage. That threw us off our stride a bit, as we were expecting to have to go on stage at least an hour from then. However, confident in our ability we gather our stuff and set off, little knowing that this was only to be the beginning of a chain of events that would culminate in sheer disaster.

We reach in time and move back-stage to await our turn on stage. The heat is oppressive, and the sun is in our faces - conditions hardly ideal for a performance of any kind let alone a musical one. But surely their effect was only too trivial to be of any consequence to our performance ?

Our turn comes and we go in. The crowd gather up expectantly - the news about our practice sessions had spread pretty quickly it seemed. We start setting up. I plug-in my guitar and receive my first jolt. Instead of hearing the familiar sound of a powerful guitar riff I am greeted with what seemed like a cacophony that jarred me to the bone. I am momentarily stunned. That was perhaps the last thing I had expected. And especially as I was using a high-end processor which was sounding great on the amplifier during our practice gigs. I wonder what we had done to deserve this. But this was no time to complain. I choose one of the patches and decide to give it a shot.

We are complete with our setup and start off with our sound-check. The problem persists. By this time I am at my wits' end - the clock is running down, I am faced with a processor which would have left quite a few pros clueless, and we are about to attempt songs which must be among the most difficult to be attempted in the competition so far. I decide to soldier on.

We start off. Things seem to be going ok, we are well into our first song and I start off on my first solo and receive my second jolt. There is practically no sustain on the guitar, which means that the slightest muted note would cut-off the melody instantly and would be painfully apparent to all and sundry. The sun is mercilessly beating down on us, and sweat is pouring out of my body. The pressure is intense. The only good thing about our performance is our drummer who is in fine fettle. Before the third shock that is. In the middle of our second song his double bass pedal gets loosened and is rendered ineffective.

What followed was perhaps one of the most sorry spectacles seen on stage for a while. Here we were attempting some of the most difficult songs on stage and coming off looking amateurish at best. Our dreams of great things that awaited us was ground to dust in a matter of minutes, and soon we found ourselves trudging back to our hostels in a dazed and shell-shocked state.

I am a strong believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason. But its at times like these that I seriously begin to doubt the truth of it.

Knock, Knock ... Who's there ??

2005-09-11T17:29:00.000+05:30

The exams ... THAT's who !!! That murderous, monstrous presence, that keeps pushing hapless students to the very brink of insanity. Not surprisingly, the consumption of midnight oil has already sky-rocketed and at this rate we will soon need solar power to carry us through the exhausting array of examinations .... oops, sorry about that. I realise that was a little lame, to say the least. But, when exams are around the corner, such seemingly terrific "PJ"s are very often the only outlet to our frustrations, and can therefore, be forgiven. The practice may have serious repercussions on the health of the onlookers, but for the man delivering it, there is nothing sweeter than to see countenances blackened by the audacity of the latest "onslaught".

In fact, it is rather in fashion these days, as a harmless - or rather, a RELATIVELY harmless - "stress-reliever" (when you compare it with the other "vices" that is) affording a few precious moments of joy in an otherwise mundane and exam-ridden atmosphere. Wherever there is a gathering of sorts, of exam-se-frust junta, and you happen to be an "innocent" onlooker, you are greeted by raucous laughter at the weakest of jokes, or even better, a deathly silence after an especially excruciating PJ. It is then, and only then, that you realise the true potential of "the art of PJ-cracking". Making people laugh, is fast becoming the most coveted short-cut to fame and fortune, with television shows aiming to pounce on the newest formula - laughter is the best medicine. So the next time you hear a weak imitation of a bar-girl in a phone booth, or a take on the happy and gay, Karan Johar, you'd know laughter shows are very much on the rise.

And thus, I come to the end of yet another "commercial break" in the run-up to my exams. Wish me luck !!

Of aching limbs and blissful slumber ....

2005-08-28T22:59:00.000+05:30

That's how i would describe my day today. First, we had a breathless game of football, quite customary these days, followed by a brisk but incredibly refreshing shower. The legs, however, seem to have a mind of their own, refusing to budge even at the sternest commands issued from my central nervous system. And even when they do, it is a kind of grudging submission. The net result - I can be seen dragging my feet along the corridor of my wing, with a shuffling gait of a cripple rather than a college-going student. Yet, in a vague masochistic way, one tends to enjoy this onset of muscle fatigue as it makes you feel so undeniably ALIVE ... they say you need to experience sadness to appreciate true joy. In a similar vein, you need to experience utter exhaustion in order to truly feel the enjoyment of sound sleep. And sure enough it comes...

In the meantime, there was a game going on - a game of cricket that was strictly not for the weak-hearted. Yeah, you guessed it right, I am talking about the Ashes, and the game in question, the astonishing fourth test held at Trent Bridge. It had all the ingredients of the vintage Ashes - two evenly-matched teams bent on getting an upper hand on the other, and consequently some frayed nerves, and rising tempers. A rampaging England squad that refused to lie down and allow history to repeat itself. Instead they gave back some of what they got from the Aussies - aggression, athleticism, tenacity. All of a sudden, the world champions were left scratching their heads in disbelief at the "new-found" English determination - something they have not faced in a while. As the saying goes - "fortune favours the brave" and the result is there for all to see. At a time when Indian sport is discovering new lows everyday, these inconsequential results form the only cause for cheer for an Indian sports enthusiast. I say inconsequential, because there is little reason for us, Indians, to take pleasure in the fall of arguably one of the greatest teams to have graced the stage of Test Cricket. However, that is the sad state we find ourselves in.

Without pondering over the futility of it all, I would like to answer the urgent requests of these aching limbs of mine, and call it a day. Sleep, that blissful and sometimes enigmatic entity is looming large on my horizon. Good Night.

the thrills of hostel life ...

2005-08-23T17:40:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was quite an eventful day for me. Firstly, I woke up late yet again for class and gave it up as a lost effort as soon as my eyes fell on the clock. It was a class that I shouldn't have missed as I had woken up before time on this occasion, but such is the attractive nature of the classes we have, I went back to sleep as soon as I realised this fact. The result: I slept for the remaining hours before lunch and woke up just in time for the lab I had in the afternoon. A lab in which everyone bar the teacher knows what is going on - and somehow having spent the last three years over here, that doesn't come as a surprise. The lab is aptly named too - OOPs - that last letter a fitting addition bringing to the fore the futility of the exercise. I'm sure you too would agree on this point, when I tell you that the subject is named "Object Oriented Programming" and the teacher comes to the class everyday, armed with the humungous vocabulary of ONE word -- and no points for guessing that the word is "objects", of course. Now you didn't think any different did you, coz if you did, you would be woefully underestimating what our teachers are capable of. Under his skilful supervision, what had appeared to be a course that promised to hold our interest, is turned into quite a farcical affair with the students dodging an endless volley of "objects".

The lab is equally farcical in its NON-applicability to any modern methods of thinking and is concluded as soon as the teacher steps out, having completed his pretty innocuous question-answer session. For once, we were not complaining though, as the prospect of a football match in the pouring rain looms large. Quite a lip-smacking proposition I must say, as even the most skilful of players are reduced to mere bystanders in the bewitching nature of the turf. The game didn't disappoint either with plenty of sliding and falling, and seemed to resemble a game of water-polo more than soccer for the most part. But then, who cares, when students of all shapes and sizes can indulge in an hour of carefree banter without the slightest worry in their heads. For a final year that definitely comes at a premium, at a time when preparation for various competitive exams occupy foremost importance.

We emerge from the footer field, dripping wet, but with huge smiles on our faces as each of us relish the prospect of a rejuvenating shower after such a rolling in the mud. The next few minutes are spent in casual chit-chat as we try and "analyse" the game, each participant trying to keep a straight face even in face of the apparent absurdity of the proposition. The exercise was doomed to failure even before it had started and soon the hilarity of the situation overcomes one and all and we burst out laughing.

The next few hours whizz past as we manage to take showers, have dinners and settle comfortably into our chairs or beds as the case may be. The night, like many nights before, appeared headed for the same monotonous routine - hours of "jhandaoing" interspersed with occasional bhaat sessions and mid-night snacks courtesy one Mr. Carlos. However, a spanner materialised from nowhere, and flew into the works, throwing all carefully-made plans into abject disarray. POWERCUT !!!

For the modern students of IIT Kharagpur, a powercut symbolises their worst night-mares coming true. In the absence of this life-force, the techonology that drives the generation comes to a jarring halt. The people who are used to spending 99% of their time in front of the computer screen are rendered, in one horrifying moment, completely "jobless". Or so we thought. The time we spent in its absence yesterday night, however, will form one of the most lasting memories of this place at least for me. Where else can you even think of "moonlight footer", let alone play it. Where else can you lie beneath the open sky and spend hours gazing in speechless awe at its ephemeral beauty. Where else can you spend time laughing and joking with your closest friends with not a care in the world.

I love hostel life. And that's why.

Musings ...

2005-08-16T17:51:00.000+05:30

Just felt like writing, so here I am. These days I am really busy with music practices as the Foundation Day production of ETMS (Eastern Technology Music Society for the uninitiated) is just around the corner. In many ways, my being a part of this is like a dream come true, as ever since my first year -- as I took my first tremulous steps down the path of IIT life -- the ETMS was like the pinnacle of musical excellence. I was an aspiring singer at that time, having never had the courage to even hold a guitar in my hands while I was in school. Instead I concentrated solely on singing, even though I wasn't all that good at it. Hence, the auditions of the ETMS presented a window of opportunity for me, as I wanted nothing better than to croon those notes in front of a cheering audience. The feeling, I was sure, would be heady, and as if caught up in the frantic race for recognition, I dreamt on. The much-vaunted plans never saw the light of day, however, as due to certain unforeseen circumstances I couldn't even attend the auditions, let alone get selected. Hence, the ETMS remained what it represented to me at the time - a Mt. Everest that was to be looked up to, but that lay out of reach of the mere mortal that was me.

That was in my first year -- when I was still unsure of my surroundings, unsure of my abilities as a musician and most of all, unsure of my future. I had secured a less-than-noteworthy rank in the JEE and hence had to bear the ignominy of studying in the Department of Mathematics that epitomised the fears of many an innocent onlooker. I was not sure whether I would ever be able to perform on the same stage as some of the best musicians of Kharagpur. I wasn't even sure I would be able to cope up with the pressures of studying in one of the toughest departments of the Institute, at least in terms of grades. Or so I thought.

Three years down the line, and things have taken an altogether different hue. I have managed to not only touch the pinnacle that is the ETMS but am actually involved in a major way. And that too as a guitarist. There were times during this long "graduation" when I felt lost, and was tempted to give it all up. However, I realise now that the fact that I did not get into the society earlier than this has actually been a blessing in disguise. It gave me more time to come to terms with my instrument and made me a better musician. Of course the constant exchange of ideas with perhaps the most gifted musician of my batch, one Mr. Kartik Varadpande, was a tremendous boost for me at every stage and for that I am extremely grateful.

They say, "Failures are the stepping-stone to success" -- and not without reason too....

A game of Hyd-and seek ??

2005-07-08T00:13:00.000+05:30

It has been a really long time since i last blogged ... and the last time i had attempted it i had been put off by a truant keyboard with the most infuriating space bar that completely disrupted my thought process. So I thought maybe the higher forces of nature have something to do with this and maybe the Gods willed me not to blog. But this time there appears to be no such barrier between me and my long-lost friend- the blogger. So here i am. There was a time not-so-long-ago when i had started blogging with such frequency that not a day went by when i had not put a word online (as opposed to putting pen to paper that is) ... The increasing obsession with the blog was a little frightening when it happened and in retrospect i think it was a blessing in disguise that there was a break in it when it mattered ...

my major reason in blogging was to give vent to some of the pressures that i was under at that point of time ( read organisation of one phenomenon called Spring Fest ) .... and frankly speaking it was effective in that particular aspect ... of course there was the occasional tit-bit about the latest raging debates of campus life and some particularly unpleasant experiences in the classroom ... but let me come back to the point ... this summer i was in hyderabad for a two-month summer training in CCMB ... for the unintiated that spells out as Center for Cellular and Molecular Biology ... the work was hectic to say the least, with 6-day-weeks, and hours extending quite often beyond what is considered human hours ... but guess what ??? i actually enjoyed it ... i mean ever since i set foot in kgp i have got more and more disillusioned with academics or anything remotely associated with it ... and in this i was aided quite a lot by my dept and the sometimes appalling atrocities that go on over there in the name of teaching ... of what is supposed to be the "purest" of the sciences ... and in the midst of all the bitterness that was welling inside of me like a volcano about to erupt, this period in CCMB was like a breath of fresh air ... i WORKED more than i have in the last 3 years of college life ... but more importantly i LEARNT more than i have in the last three years in kgp ... and at the end of it i actually felt i have gained an invaluable insight into what i think i want to do in the future ... that i can safely say is something i had no idea about even a few months ago ... but this was not all ...

during this time i also had a chance to interact with a lot of people coming from a lot of different backgrounds ... summer trainees all, from all corners of the country, but amazingly like-minded in a lot of things ... we had a number of musical sessions accompanied by my old friend, the guitar, and a number of eager, if uncertain, voices ... its amazing how powerful music can be in breaking the ice between people ... one moment u have relative strangers sitting around in an awkward silence ... and the very next moment u have an enthusiastic bunch of people swaying to the strains of a well-known tune ... i guess music appeals to the sub-conscious and brings out feelings that would otherwise have lain below the surface ... hence i had people who considered themselves as "bathroom singers", opening up and singing along to some melodies, quite oblivious to whether it sounded off-key or not ... and somehow none of us seemed to mind ... coz at such times it is the emotions that matter and not the exactness of the tune or any of those rigid frameworks that exist in music ... that is when we actually realise the true significance of music as a force that binds ... a cohesive force that pervades barriers and opens the mind to the beauty of the world around us ...

all-in-all it was a great experience ... one that i would be eager to repeat given another opportunity ... and definitely one that i will never forget ...

Done and Dusted ....

2005-02-12T02:40:00.000+05:30

All good things come to an end. The excitement is over for the year as far as KGP is concerned. Spring Fest is over. And so is its techno-managerial relative, Kshitij. What remains behind is a void which I am not sure anything ... and I mean anything ... can ever fill.

Especially so for me as I was so involved in the whole thing . The responsibility of seeing through a fest of the magnitude of Spring Fest is a scary one at best. However, as soon as I was elected to be the upholder of the age-old tradition I felt proud that I was entrusted with the responsibility. Of course there were moments of doubt .... when the sky seemed to be caving in and nothing seemed to be going right, but thanks to the people who were there to share the responsibility I never lost the focus ... and for that I am grateful. SF, as we call it, could never be allowed to suffer and before that ultimate objective there was no space for individual gratification or petty politics. Of course there have been times in the past when the fest has seen both of these and needless to say it was the fest that had suffered. However, the Spring Fest 2005 team did not ever want to have such regrets. Hence, from day one the emphasis was on how to work together to get a better SF. As it happens with any team we had our differences. However these were never allowed to assume a threatening shape. Good sense prevailed in the end and the results are for all to see. A kick-ass fest ... and levels of perfection that we had only dreamed of achieving when we had started off on this long journey ...

The juggernaut rolls on ....

The celebration of Shakti

2004-10-19T15:31:00.000+05:30

Its once again that time of the year when we Bengalis celebrate the Durga Puja ... the festival that harps on the theme of good triumphing over evil. Of course to an innocent bystander this would be no less than torturing a cliche. However, you have to witness the festival in its full splendour to actually judge its true magnitude and the significance it holds for the common man of Bengal.

To the quintessential critic the whole significance of the festival will be lost. True, it involves unimaginable amounts of money being spent on what seems to be paltry, meagre things. However, the fact is that just like the Western world celebrates Christmas, a major portion of the Indian community revels in the "Navaratri" -- on a similar note the Bengalis celebrate Durga Puja. The poor, ordinary man waits for these four days of enjoyment with incredible, even inexplicable, enthusiasm that permeates the whole community. The wait is now almost over and the excitement is just too much for words to describe. One can perhaps find a very close parallel in the IIT Kharagpur Illumination festival. The fantastic structures that are held aloft by bamboos and illuminated by only oil diyas are sheer poetry. During those few hours the hard work of several days culminate in full grandeur and brings a smile to the faces and triumph into the hearts of the KGPian. Similarly, the Durga Pujas work towards uniting the whole community in an endeavour to enjoy and pray at the same time.

Well that's about it for now. Happy pujas...

see you soon

Random thoughts ...

2004-10-07T13:28:00.000+05:30

Its been a while I know . But I am back ... finally ...

The rain keeps coming down ... with no intention of ever stopping it seems . The immediate effect it has on us is to lower our spirits ... the effect is undeniable, yet inexplicable . If there ever was a season that could be the exact opposite of spring then this would probably come the closest .

Talking of spring ... this year Spring Fest 2005-IIT Kharagpur will definitely be the place to be. I can assure you all that Kharagpur is going to rock like never before and in more ways than one ... So people, just fasten your seatbelts and hang on .... You can check out the new Spring Fest site at www.springfestiitkgp.com ...

Life is pretty hectic at the moment with all sorts of events that keep happening along with all the academic load . Yesterday , in fact, we had yet another lab test on Systems Programming ... the subject we are taught by the enigmatic Pawan Kumar . The problem looked ridiculously easy this time compared with his usual stuff . However, as it so often happens , it doesn't take much to push an assembly program over the edge ... ( yeah and you thought C programming was the toughest thing that could have been ;-) ) . The bug ,as it turned out ,was in one line ... can you beat that ... ONE F***ING LINE .... and it had me tied up in knots for over an hour .

Well who cares anyway ??? Its history and that's what matters.

The long standing debate has finally been resolved . Yeah you guessed right . Illumination is happening. However, the way the whole thing was handled by the powers-that-be has left a bitter taste in the mouth . The only truth that became all-too-evident from this episode was that however much everyone speaks about student rights , the fact remains that it is a prof-dominated society in Kharagpur and all the fuss about elections and student representatives is nothing but an eye-wash of gigantic proportions . The very fact that we are having Illumination just 6 days before the end-semester exams says a thing or two about how considerate our professors are of the students' problems. Beat this ... the professor who is in-charge of the Students' Affairs says ,when confronted by the students , " ... I am personally not in favour of having Illumination before the actual Diwali .... in case there is a lot of pressure from inside the campus I can at best keep quiet .... ". So you can judge for yourselves ...

Well thats a lot of stuff to digest all at the same time ...

so its goodbye for now ...

Reality bites ...

2004-09-26T14:01:00.000+05:30

Hello people ,

I am back to blogging once again after a gap of sorts . Well that was partly because of my new blog "The Ultra Zone" and also partly because the movie season has arrived with the end of the mid-semester exams this Thursday . Well , the gap was a good one and a much-awaited one at that. However , just as all good things come to an end , it just did ... for me at least .

The marks are out for Computer Software - yeah that's the name of one course that I am taking . The results were , I won't say unexpected , but a shock nevertheless . I guess I needed that - a little shaking-up to remind myself of the reality ... and sure as hell reality bites ...

In fact the time I have been having in kgp has been one of the worst at least from an academic point-of-view . Well , I guess that is understandable in one of the premier institutes of the country with the the load of competition reaching new heights ... But that probably is me shifting the blame to someone else for something that I am responsible for ... me and me alone .

I had taken a decision in my life ... the most important decision of my life when I took the plunge into the IIT way of life . I guess I should have been aware of all the trials and tribulations that I would have had to go through . But once I have made that decision there's no way I can change it can I ?? Now its upto me to pick myself up and start with renewed vigour .

After all , "failures are the stepping stones to success" ... or so said someone ...

till next time ... ciao

The Ultra Zone

2004-09-25T13:20:00.000+05:30

TheUltra Zone

My new blog ... dedicated to guitaring and guitarists ....

I started learning guitar only in my first year of college . Initially I had a lot of problems picking up anything of note . You can understand that it is very difficult to try and play a song only by hearing it . That was when I was introduced to the amazing software called Guitar-Pro by a good friend of mine Kristoff. It is a tablature editor -- in a layman's terms a musical notation writing software which plays the notes for you as well as you go along . It obviously makes it a lot easier on you when you can hear the song being played along with the tabs .

This blog will contain links to guitar-pro.com , mysongbook.com , etc so do check it out ...

Crossroads

2004-09-24T13:39:00.000+05:30

Hello ppl ...

The days of horror are finally past ... I am free once again from the shackles of torture they call "midsems". The dreamy weekend has already begun , replete with all the bleary hours of interminable sleep and the equal - if not more - hours of sitting at the computer doing what you love best . Well , such days are pretty rare nowadays when you get time to think about your life and how things are , and also how you would have wanted them to be . When you come at such a crossroads in your life invariably you find that things are in many ways not to your liking . There are so many things that you would have done ... so many things that you would have done differently .... and some others you would not have done at all .

At such times one usually is filled with an inexplicable sadness , or maybe remorse - in a way - that some things that were in your control did not go the way you wanted them to go because of some hesitation in you - an inexplicable reluctance to follow your heart . On such occasions one usually blames his circumstances for the change of fortune , the events that happened around you are to blame for what happened to you ... Isn't that being a little escapist on your part ?? Aren't you deluding yourself into believing things that were in reality quite different ??? Or are you too afraid to recognise that you were responsible for what happened to your life ... you and no one else ...

I am no different . It is a fact that is really hard to accept , but now that I am on the threshold of entering into the big bad world of the corporate , I realise that there are moments in my life that I regret were not different .

Moments when if I had acted differently I might have been in a totally different place with totally different people ... moments when had I mustered up the courage and spoken to the girl that I had only watched and admired from afar maybe she would have been with me and not with someone else .

I only hope for your sake that the same is not true for you , because there can be no pain that is more than the pain of realising that you are at fault . You are responsible for what is happening and what has happened to your life .

Life gives you a lot of chances , a lot of opportunities . If you didn't take them you know whom to blame.

New Puzzle ...

2004-09-22T11:47:00.000+05:30

hi guys .... just came across this puzzle in a website .... check it out and send me ur answers ... here goes ...

You and two other people go to a restaurant. The bill comes to 30 pounds so you decide to split it between you, 10 pound each. The waiter takes the money to the kitchen. He is told he has over charged you by five pounds. On the way to returning the money to you he realises he can make a profit here. He takes two pounds and gives you each a pound back, so you have each only paid 9 pounds each. So three 9's are 27 and the waiter has two pounds, so where has the other pound gone?

nicely framed is it not ???

enjoy :)

Mid sem blues

2004-09-22T01:17:00.000+05:30

hello ppl ...

the exams always bring out the best in people ... and i don't mean just academically .... just saw some of the funniest ads on LAN and that did help release some of the pent-up stress ...

today i had an exam i didn't know much about ....just one more in the seemingly endless list .... well needless to say the frustness levels in my system are now at such a level that every pore in my body is crying out foul ...

first came ANT ( well for the not-so-enlightened that stands for Advanced Numerical Techniques ) how deceptive names can turn out to be !!!! well the teacher is enigmatic to say the least giving us no clue whatsoever what kind of questions he can set ... can u beat this - he did not make us solve a single problem in the class room and this is supposed to be a course on numerical analysis .... but when it came to the exam he gave us a paper that one would have found hard pressed to complete if given 4 hrs time instead of just 2 ....

then the pawan kumar story began ... he is a renowned professor for his style of teaching and his style of giving grades .... but someone forgot to mention the fact that he sets papers that would have put FIITJEE maths paper seem like kindergarten stuff .... of course he gives grades peacefully but giving such a paper can do one's confidence no good .... and the icing on the cake is that he takes 2 of my 5 courses .... well i need all the luck i can get ....

that's enough of me for the moment ... gotta have some sympathy for u poor souls reading my blog and being bored to death ....

ciao

To be or not to be ...

2004-09-19T18:48:00.000+05:30

hello ppl ... feels good to be back ...

the all important question in the minds of all responsible kgpians is whether we will be able to have illumination this year or not ...

let me bring you up to speed ... the fact that diwali is on 12th of Nov and only 6 days before the end-sems is the issue here ...

its a plain fact that having illu at that time is atrocious on the students as a lot of effort goes into the preparation for the event ... however the profs will not budge ... they want to have it on the date of diwali in order to preserve "tradition " ... the simple fact that no hall can possibly risk investing thousands into illu when they cannot be sure of inspiring all the inmates of the hall to work ... and in which case the very event becomes uncertain ... cannot be understood by the profs ... they would rather not have illu than have it on another day ...

the event that is unique to IIT Kharagpur being obliterated due to the obstinacy of some of the figureheads of the student-body they proudly call Technology Students' Gymkhana .... It might as well be called the Technology Professors' Gymkhana for all we care ... as the reluctance to make any allowance to the student community becomes increasingly evident ...

in times such as these one comes to realise the futility of having a student body with elected office-bearers ... when they ultimately become no more than pawns in the hands of the profs ...

the axe hanging at the head of the showpiece event of the campus is for all to see ...

we can only hope that it does not fall ...

of tidal waves ...

2004-09-14T11:54:00.000+05:30

Hello ppl ...

its nice to be back ... the midsems are obviously taking a toll ... but anyway i got some time off and here i am typing away ....

well not much happened in the last few days except that Tsunami ( japanese for "tidal wave") ,the 8-member ensemble band ( don't ask me what that means !! ) from the American Navy came over to sleepy Kharagpur and gave a terrific performance ... u ppl must be wondering why i call IIT KGP a sleepy place ... well it was sunday afternoon and at that hour it goes pretty much without saying that the majority of the junta is asleep ... well the band did their tuning and gave a great performance ... although most of the crowd can be attributed to the fact that the band had 2 female members ... well ... need i say more ... :D

well that's all for now ... gotta go and mug ... ;-)

see u ppl ...

one more hectic day ...

2004-09-09T01:28:00.000+05:30

hi ppl ...

i am getting the time to post a message after quite some time especially since midsems are near and the sf work is hotting up ...

for better or for worse ....

brochures are here ... great news ... as the process of continuing contact with companies can be started with fervour ... the initial hurdle has been crossed ... its now up to us to make it count ...

interestingly enough i got a mail from our very own saunak(a.k.a local train or P Basu ) sent me a mail asking me abt all the stuff that is going on ... and expressed his eagerness to contribute to our cause ... cheers to u ... way to go !!!

the hindi week is starting and the hss department is going berserk ... trying to organise simple things like creative writing and antakshari ... needless to say our secies would have done a much better job ... indeed they would have been the sole in-charge of all these events .... instead my phone keeps ringing ...

well that's pretty much it ... not much time left for the midsems ...
hope they go better this time ...
ciao

RP hall day 2003

2004-09-04T18:50:00.000+05:30



this is a pic of me ... trying my hand at the guitar ... :D enjoy

reflections ...

2004-09-04T18:13:00.000+05:30

its really nice to think during the week that there is a weekend to look forward to ... a weekend to sleep to ur heart's content .. a weekend to indulge in your favourite activities without ever having to worry about the proximity of a class test or the approaching of a deadline ...

kgp life is essentially incomplete without any of these things ... the burning of midnight oil in anticipation of the upcoming assignment submission ... the "loaded" hours of group study a few hours before the midsem examination ... the incessant bhaating sessions ... this is what kgp life really is ...

however it is not difficult to believe that the campus life in kgp was even more "hoo haa" before the widespread arrival of computers ... the students used to really revel in those years ... with Chhedi's , arun's and golc being among the more favoured haunts ... of course i am only conjecturing - speculating ... the real picture must have been far different and much better ...

now one has to just visit the campus to get an idea of the effect that computers have had on the IITians ...

scholar's avenue lies deserted in the eerie light of the blinking street lamps ....
the corridors inside the halls are empty ....
people are all inside their rooms glued to the computer screens ... the clattering of keyboards a mute testimony to the changing attitude of students ...

people say a lot of things about the plus-points of technology ... how easy our life has become because of the boon of technology ... how difficult it would have been otherwise ... how the world has become a small place ... communication being revolutionized by satellite technology ...

but when one comes to examine the situation more closely they would notice the paradox ... technology is actually taking people farther and farther from themselves ... at present we would rather rely on tools like chatting and mailing to communicate with each other ... rather than meet someone face-to-face ...

have these changes really been for the better ??? or are we only deceiving ourselves ???

time will be the best judge ...

life's like that

2004-09-02T00:50:00.000+05:30

hi ppl ... remember that hilarious column that used to appear in Reader's digest of the same name ... well today was just the opposite ...
just like a normal day when nothing seems to be happening out of the ordinary ... well if ever there was a day like that then today was the day ...
Spring Fest work is going on as usual ... the heads are putting their hearts and minds to the job at hand and the results that can be acheived out of this concerted effort is simply mind-blowing ... in fact in a place like IIT Kharagpur where the cutting edge of competition can often rob an individual of all the will to fight , of all the motive of one's existence ... SF comes like a breath of fresh air ... like a sip of ice-cold water to the parched throat of a weary traveller , SF is the elixir of life in the desert that is KGP ...
the exposure that one can never dream of getting ,SF can provide to one at the snap of a finger ... lets take an example ... we in an engineering institute who are fed up with the technicalities of a higher education in india often look for a managerial opening in a bigshot company like , say , HLL or ITC ... getting through their inerview is like a godsend ... but i as a second year got this unique opportunity to meet in person , the marketing manager of ITC ... well the experience was simply astonishing ... a mere second year with no idea whatsoever what goes on in the big bad world of corporate big wigs pitted against each other ... getting a chance to speak on equal terms with one of the highest officials in one of the biggest conglomerates of India ... it was something i will never be able to forget ...

well enough of self-aggrandisation ( what was that !!! ) for now ... lets take a break from the chain and sit back and relax for a moment ...

let the might of your compassion arise / to bring a quick end / to the flowing stream of the / blood and tears ...

ciao

Of phreaking and hacking ...

2004-09-01T10:11:00.000+05:30

hi guys ... its good to be back ...
yesterday was the day we were all eagerly waiting for ... the live demonstration of hacking in vikramshila by the i-SiG group of which our very own ravemz is a part ... hacking is a word which fascinates anyone and everyone ... it is the sense of power that it brings with it that makes it so attractive ...
in actual fact though hacking is not such difficult thing to do ... but like many other things the secret is a well kept one ... hacking is a domain that very few get to traverse hence the curiosity factor is at work ... it is a dark world world of mystery and magic ... where ppl get to break into others computers and wreak havoc ... that among other things makes up the overwhelming "popularity" of the word ...
the fact remains however that ... to quote Spiderman ... " with great power comes great responsibility " ... hacking is definitely a very powerful tool with the help of which one can mess up another's world very easily ... hence the importance of realising the downside of hacking or the "underworld" ... as long as it is harmless it is fine ... coz after all who would like to have his/her world tampered with by strangers ...
bye for now ...

signs ...

2004-08-30T00:17:00.000+05:30

hiya ppl ... i am back after a long lay-off ( all of two days !!! ) ... writing the bullshit that u have come to associate so closely with this blog :D ...
well life in cal is so cool ... no worries no tensions ... and now as soon as i am back in kgp i am back to the ways that a gsec is expected to follow ... all the interminable meetings ... the equally interminable doubts that keep surfacing for no earthly reason ... the doubts that weigh on my mind so much so that sleeping well becomes a problem ... the load of expectations can become scary at times ... whether this year's Spring Fest can be as good as the last year's ... whether we will get the necessary funds ... things which seem so mundane ... but which carry an importance so huge that they simply cannot be ignored ...
it is all so uncertain ...
and yet so uncannily important to one's well being that they refuse to simply become sidelined ...
no matter how hard u try ...
no matter how fast you run ...
the reality will always come back to haunt you ...

hehehehehehe ... scared you did i ??

with all these psycho-sounding stuff anyone would ...
maybe i am losing it ...
maybe i am not ...
only time can tell ...
only if you are prepared to wait that long ...

we will meet again ...
till then ... its good bye ...

sweet home calcutta

2004-08-27T12:51:00.000+05:30

hi guys ...
here i am , on the road again ... i am going back home after more than a month ... sumthing unthinkable even a year back in my home ... mom , dad and grandma have kept such a close vigil on me thru my so-called "formative" years that for them the fact that their dear (grand)son would stay away from them for even a moment was unbearable to them ... that was the reason why you could see me haunting the phone booth everyday queuing for hours on end to catch a few moments of conversation time with them ... but now those days seem a distant memory ... at the moment my parents feel lucky if i call at least once every week ... it is so difficult for me to keep these schedules u see ... the crushing weight of studies a burden so heavy that the smallest phone calls seem to be an atrocious extravagance ...
is that the truth ?? or has the overwhelming nature of my "extra-curricular" activities has taken its toll on my 'acads' to such an extent that i am ashamed to face up to the reality ??
perhaps it is true ... perhaps not ...
it is up to me to find out and make right ...
till then it just weighs on my mind every single moment ...
so much for introspection ... a lot of bullshit ...
so much for soul-searching ...
so long ... farewell ...

the steering goes berserk ...

2004-08-27T03:05:00.000+05:30

hello guys ...
today was another of the frust days in the life of a GSec soc cult ... what with the glorifying nature of the post ... the tastes it brings with it has an overwhelming tinge of the bitter ... the work of Spring Fest 2005 is another day old and we are not even close to anything concrete ...
For any fest the brochure is of course numero uno on the priority list ... and this morning we had the satisfaction of saying that it was on the way to print ... with two of our most reliable heads on the way to cal even the most pessimistic among us were harbouring a few hopes that SF might finally be on its way ... but the disaster that is this year's steering committee happened yet again ... and we were left scratching our heads in amazement ... how easily the whole mood of the sf core team can change from quiet optimism to downright despondency ...
mistakes that they made were made again ... that was the initial spark that lighted up the whole debate ... of course to ask why the scoms could not come up with the smallest suggestion that would have averted this would have been met with the same characteristic cynicism :"...you people think you have become big studs ..."
this brings me to question the very fabric into which Spring Fest is sown ... what is the need to keep these people on the team when the whole purpose of having them ... that is to offer advise ... is not served ...
this is a question which must have passed through the minds of all the people on the sf team ... however the answer is not that simple ...
we are all lesser mortals in the path of the juggernaut that is the Spring Fest ... whether we can live up to the expectation ... whether we can withstand this stress ... is something that only time can answer ...
well that's it for tonight ... sorry for boring you ppl ... but that is fast becoming a habit ... isn't it ??

Of assembly and lab tests ...

2004-08-25T17:36:00.000+05:30

hiyaaa ppl ... i am back with some more soul searching and some food for thought ... well i had an exam today in the subject 'Systems Programming' ... well it might sound straight out of an Isaac Asimov thriller with all the hi-fi hacking and phreaking stuff but its pretty elementary really ... what with all the gibberish and low level programming ... Pawan Kumar was up to his usual tricks ... but your heart really goes out to the guy ... the brilliant but eccentric genius who never ranked out of the top ten in his 3 attempts at JEE ...
leaving that aside i had a chance to meet the Dean of Alumni Affairs tonight ... he is a really cool guy and pretty sensitive to the needs of the students as well ... nice experience ... could not talk much ... but sure to catch up with him in the future ...
that's enuff for now i guess ... i have pretty much scared away all of u for good now with these mindless posts ... but neway i have only just started ... remember ? ;-)
ciao

A journey to nothingness

2004-08-25T01:39:00.000+05:30

hello ppl ... this is my first attempt at writing a blog anywhere let alone about myself .... so forgive me if it is a load of nonsense but here goes ...
today was another of those days when nothing seems to go right for you and just when u had given up hope ... a sudden something pops up in front of you and startles you with its sheer unexpectedness ... it started off in the morning with me reaching class late ... somehow managing to stay awake during two back-to-back and amazingly "sleep-inducing" lectures of the unpredictable pawan kumar and still not getting attendance ... then attending a tedious budget meeting ... apprehensive abt the possible outcomes ... but the sudden relief when everything gets passed in the blink of an eye ... gives u hope that all is not lost ... there is hope yet ...
i guess i bored u guys enough ... so lets call it a day ...