Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A strange time ...

The party's over. At least for me. Might seem strange to hear but can't really help it. On the threshold of entering my fifth year of college I suddenly feel lost. And I mean lost. Not since my first year have I felt anything even remotely close to this. Difficult to place the feeling, ummm really difficult. Its like a weird cross between happiness and sorrow. Ahh! That's it ! Weird. The word that is, perhaps, best suited to describe it, given the circumstances. And yet whatever be the obscure nature of it, its gross result is not. Because it makes me want to go down in a heap and burst into tears. Funny how the human mind works. At times of incredible happiness the best thing it can conjure up are a few measly tears that blur the vision, trickle down the cheeks leaving tell-tale streaks and sometimes even drip down your chin and soil your best sunday attire. That same strange companion of the human race in times of pain is found all the same in places it is least expected to. This particular occasion, though, is not one of those tearful, mushy Hollywood-style movie endings where one is "overwhelmed" by happiness, or by the unbearable nature of it. This situation could not have been more different. And yet, come to think of it, not really different. Its rather like one of those situations where someone is about to lose a lot of very close friends - people with whom he has eaten and slept and spent every minute of every day for all of four long years - people whom one holds closer than anyone in the whole wide world - and all of a sudden, all gone. Or at least from his immediate vicinity, out of earshot. Because that was how close they all were - within shouting distance. But not any more. Everyone will go their own way, which in a few cases will not be all different, and this place will be rendered empty - of friends, of fun, of life.

May sound like a lot of melodrama to you - in fact had this been written in ink on paper you might have even spied a few tell-tale drops smudging the ink. But whatever heights the blogger might have reached it still remains a text document. Can't really "code" human emotions into the format of it, right ?

At least not yet.

6 comments:

punit said...

same here yaar :(....i m going thru the same right now.....listening to LOC's"ek saathi aur bhi tha" right now.....i mean it was just party till yesterday....and today, as all the deps are giving farewell one by one.....u feel something pricking ur heart......i only hope if i cud have left this place with my frds...so that the whole nostalgia wudnt have chased me next year......i mean, next year when u go for lunch and see the room from which u used to call ur frd.....but he is nomore there.........
i think we have some solace in some good frds still left with us.........

we really have made frds for life here.....and hope we all will keep in frequent tuch in this small world.....(kahne ki hi baat hai yaar :(:( )

ScrewDriver said...

same is the condition with me .. all my dramatics people are leaving .. and me the only one stranded here .. thats why my man i am shifting to your wing !!!
lets hope well have a nice super final year together

Unknown said...

let me tell you the feeling is no different for the passing out people.
apro, puneet n ayan, at least you people get to meet each other next year. we will be in earshot-distance with very few friends after this.
ayan mentions it for drams.. be it ent, soc-cult, gc, sports, tech, interhalls, illu.... sf, kshitij, gymkhana... socities, wildfire, dreadnought.... it creates a vacuum in my stomach everytime i think of it.

Abhishek Agarwal said...

The feeling is thr for every1 Apro daa... u cos u think ur being left behind, us cos we will be going away. The party tht we had was fun , but its finally getting over. The phase tht this is , will get over and we'll all move on. Us mebbe a lil bit sooner, cos we'll get busy again. U mite take a bit longer cos u'll be "Super Vella" in ur "Super Final" year and will have more time to think abt it than us. :P ...

Wont say my goodbyes and wishes yet, cos thrs still a month for the party to end, and its just abt reaching into overdrive :)

naween said...

it hasn't sunk in yet for me. it's difficult to imagine all these ppl gone when they are still with you. guess it will hit me next sem.

HING TING CHOT said...

Nostalgic ..... and wonderfully expressed.....way to go aproda