signs ...

hiya ppl ... i am back after a long lay-off ( all of two days !!! ) ... writing the bullshit that u have come to associate so closely with this blog :D ...
well life in cal is so cool ... no worries no tensions ... and now as soon as i am back in kgp i am back to the ways that a gsec is expected to follow ... all the interminable meetings ... the equally interminable doubts that keep surfacing for no earthly reason ... the doubts that weigh on my mind so much so that sleeping well becomes a problem ... the load of expectations can become scary at times ... whether this year's Spring Fest can be as good as the last year's ... whether we will get the necessary funds ... things which seem so mundane ... but which carry an importance so huge that they simply cannot be ignored ...
it is all so uncertain ...
and yet so uncannily important to one's well being that they refuse to simply become sidelined ...
no matter how hard u try ...
no matter how fast you run ...
the reality will always come back to haunt you ...


hehehehehehe ... scared you did i ??

with all these psycho-sounding stuff anyone would ...
maybe i am losing it ...
maybe i am not ...
only time can tell ...
only if you are prepared to wait that long ...

we will meet again ...
till then ... its good bye ...

sweet home calcutta

hi guys ...
here i am , on the road again ... i am going back home after more than a month ... sumthing unthinkable even a year back in my home ... mom , dad and grandma have kept such a close vigil on me thru my so-called "formative" years that for them the fact that their dear (grand)son would stay away from them for even a moment was unbearable to them ... that was the reason why you could see me haunting the phone booth everyday queuing for hours on end to catch a few moments of conversation time with them ... but now those days seem a distant memory ... at the moment my parents feel lucky if i call at least once every week ... it is so difficult for me to keep these schedules u see ... the crushing weight of studies a burden so heavy that the smallest phone calls seem to be an atrocious extravagance ...
is that the truth ?? or has the overwhelming nature of my "extra-curricular" activities has taken its toll on my 'acads' to such an extent that i am ashamed to face up to the reality ??
perhaps it is true ... perhaps not ...
it is up to me to find out and make right ...
till then it just weighs on my mind every single moment ...
so much for introspection ... a lot of bullshit ...
so much for soul-searching ...
so long ... farewell ...

the steering goes berserk ...

hello guys ...
today was another of the frust days in the life of a GSec soc cult ... what with the glorifying nature of the post ... the tastes it brings with it has an overwhelming tinge of the bitter ... the work of Spring Fest 2005 is another day old and we are not even close to anything concrete ...
For any fest the brochure is of course numero uno on the priority list ... and this morning we had the satisfaction of saying that it was on the way to print ... with two of our most reliable heads on the way to cal even the most pessimistic among us were harbouring a few hopes that SF might finally be on its way ... but the disaster that is this year's steering committee happened yet again ... and we were left scratching our heads in amazement ... how easily the whole mood of the sf core team can change from quiet optimism to downright despondency ...
mistakes that they made were made again ... that was the initial spark that lighted up the whole debate ... of course to ask why the scoms could not come up with the smallest suggestion that would have averted this would have been met with the same characteristic cynicism :"...you people think you have become big studs ..."
this brings me to question the very fabric into which Spring Fest is sown ... what is the need to keep these people on the team when the whole purpose of having them ... that is to offer advise ... is not served ...
this is a question which must have passed through the minds of all the people on the sf team ... however the answer is not that simple ...
we are all lesser mortals in the path of the juggernaut that is the Spring Fest ... whether we can live up to the expectation ... whether we can withstand this stress ... is something that only time can answer ...
well that's it for tonight ... sorry for boring you ppl ... but that is fast becoming a habit ... isn't it ??

Of assembly and lab tests ...

hiyaaa ppl ... i am back with some more soul searching and some food for thought ... well i had an exam today in the subject 'Systems Programming' ... well it might sound straight out of an Isaac Asimov thriller with all the hi-fi hacking and phreaking stuff but its pretty elementary really ... what with all the gibberish and low level programming ... Pawan Kumar was up to his usual tricks ... but your heart really goes out to the guy ... the brilliant but eccentric genius who never ranked out of the top ten in his 3 attempts at JEE ...
leaving that aside i had a chance to meet the Dean of Alumni Affairs tonight ... he is a really cool guy and pretty sensitive to the needs of the students as well ... nice experience ... could not talk much ... but sure to catch up with him in the future ...
that's enuff for now i guess ... i have pretty much scared away all of u for good now with these mindless posts ... but neway i have only just started ... remember ? ;-)
ciao

A journey to nothingness

hello ppl ... this is my first attempt at writing a blog anywhere let alone about myself .... so forgive me if it is a load of nonsense but here goes ...
today was another of those days when nothing seems to go right for you and just when u had given up hope ... a sudden something pops up in front of you and startles you with its sheer unexpectedness ... it started off in the morning with me reaching class late ... somehow managing to stay awake during two back-to-back and amazingly "sleep-inducing" lectures of the unpredictable pawan kumar and still not getting attendance ... then attending a tedious budget meeting ... apprehensive abt the possible outcomes ... but the sudden relief when everything gets passed in the blink of an eye ... gives u hope that all is not lost ... there is hope yet ...
i guess i bored u guys enough ... so lets call it a day ...